Yumi and the Nightmare Painter

I seriously considered describing this book as nothing more than “Sanderson tries anime but it’s only the sketchy tropes." However, I decided to be a good reviewer and thoroughly cover Yumi and the Nightmare Painter. So, buckle up.

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter takes place in a gripping sci-fi, fantasy world where hion powers the dark world and spirits power the light. In Nikaro’s dark world, nightmares haunt the night with only painters standing in their way. In Yumi’s counterpart world, Yoki-Hijos serve the spirits and the people by living ritually and making requests of the spirits on the peoples’ behalf. For everything Sanderson gained with the enthralling world, he lost in his characters— especially the narrator.

Yumi, an honored Yoki-Hijo with the world's worst caretaker, has perfected the art of ritual living. Every day is excruciating in her shoes so the fact she’s quickly tethered to Nikaro (AKA Painter) is a major boon to the reader’s life. Unfortunately, the two hate each other for literally half of the book.

As they (and the perspectives) flip back and forth, Yumi desperately tries to decipher the spirit’s intent in tethering her soul to Nikaro. Meanwhile, Nikaro plods through the days trying to save face.

I would be amiss to leave out the SEVEN nude bath scenes that act as Nikaro and Yumi’s limited interaction time while in her body. That’s right, Sanderson could think of no better way to let these 19-year-old characters interact than to stick them in a bath naked.

As the days and pages drag on, Yumi and Nikaro are hunted, attacked, challenged, and eventually work together to uncover the secrets of their worlds. The final answers felt as cheap as the characters.

And don’t get me started on the most annoying narrator I’ve ever experienced. This presentation of Hoid (a character who makes an appearance in every Cosmere book) felt like a slap in the face if you’ve read Sanderson’s books that portray Hoid as this clever, dodgy antihero willing to do anything for his goals. In Yumi and the Nightmare Painter, he’s an arrogant know-it-all who thinks less of you than the characters think of each other.

As Hoid’s presence may indicate, this book feels like a fan-fiction Sanderson wrote about his universe. If you haven’t read The Way of Kings in particular, you will miss several key aspects of the book and you’ll feel like an outsider trying to understand a slew of inside jokes. More on this at the end of the spoiler summary.

Worst of all, Sanderson exposition dumps THREE TIMES in the last hour of the book. It’s not even disguised. The narrator breaks the fourth wall, assumes you’re confused, and explains all the reasoning and innerworkings to keep you caught up.

All in all, if you’re looking for a fun mystery by Sanderson, check out The Rhythmatist. I haven’t reviewed it, but it has deep characters, rich intrigue, and appropriate content for young adults.

If you’re still reading, I can only assume you’re dedicated to Sanderson or enjoy watching trainwrecks.

Yumi and the Nightmare Painter had great potential. I cannot stress that enough. I was spellbound by the intertwining of light and dark, modern and ancient, life and death.

Right out the gate, there's a riveting encounter with a stable nightmare where Nikaro becomes a scared little boy’s hero. Now, it's not until the last third of the book that we see that hero again. No, before we see Nikaro be a hero we must endure no less than seven nude bath scenes, an “they almost touched” refrain, the characters actively despising each other, and Hoid as the worst narrative of all time. Ok, that last one might be an exaggeration, but I haven’t come across a worse narrator.

Yumi and Nikaro eventually see eye to eye after a whole lot of eyes everywhere else. They dig into the real mysteries: why did the spirit bind their souls together, what has trapped the spirits, and why is there a stable nightmare in Nikaro’s city?

It turns out, Yumi is from the same planet as Nikaro, just thousands of years earlier, though she hasn’t been time-traveling. Big spoiler, Yumi is a nightmare but one that the mega-machine wasn’t fully able to control. So, it trapped her in an endless cycle of the same ritual day over and over and over again until her rituals got so good that she stole a spirit from the machine. The spirit tied her soul to the first hero it saw, Nikaro saving a little boy from a nasty nightmare.

When they finally figure this out (which, by the way, is all exposition dumped in the last hour of the book), Nikaro and Yumi are severed from each other. Nikaro must face a hundred stable nightmares with his posse of painters. Meanwhile, Yumi enters an epic duel of stacking with the mega-machine.

Yumi accepts her fate as the machine dies and all the nightmares are wiped from existence with the dark shroud covering the world, but Nikaro pleads for her to stay with him. In her epic power as a Yoki-Hijo, Yumi decides to live.

She and Nikaro kiss and take over the noodle shop Design and Hoid leave behind.

Now, I would be amiss to leave out the inside information you need to understand the narrator and the book. Hoid, who’s been called many names across the Cosmere books, narrates Yumi and Painter’s perspectives. I will refrain from my soapbox about him. What I will say is that he’s trapped as a statue for the entirety of the book.

Design is a type spren called a cryptic. A spren is a fragment of power within the world that has gained sentience. A cryptic is one of those whose entire mind thinks in numbers. Most cryptics are problematic, but Design acts as the guide in Yumi and the Nightmare Painter. She traveled with Hoid to this planet. When he froze, her first response was to make him into a coat hanger and thus he lived out the story with coats and hats hung atop his frozen body, and he almost deserved it.

Design talks about “investiture.” This is the essence used to interact with magic within the worlds. Yoki-hijos were those born with immense magical capabilities, Yumi most of all.

Lastly, the Cosmere is made up of shards. Yumi and the Nightmare Painter takes place on a planet where the shard (virtuosity) splintered itself. Those who originally splintered the ancient powerhouse each took on some of its power known as shards. Those weilding the shards took that name for themselves, becoming what are now known as shards and creating new and complicated worlds within the Cosmere. Shards are essentially demi-deities.

I hope this helps you get through the book, or at least acts as a quick reference when talking with your Cosmere buddies. As stated above, I recommend The Rhythmatist for a good mystery. If you were really hoping for a fun Asian read with Sanderson usual writing expertise, I'm sorry, but this isn't it. He did write a Novella called The Emperor's Soul that may interest you.

Happy reading, and I'll see you for another review in two weeks!